ok so some of you know i tend to get a little personal sometimes while writing on this blog, and some people have even commented on how they would never go into that much personal info for others to read, but i guess i am an open book. Today i am writing this because i feel a little down. Not in a bad way, I really mean things are going well, but i just can't seem to get out of a little slump i am in. This time of year is just hard on me and i am not sure why....I guess i am a sun girl, and it has been SO cold. Our renters are moving out of our house today, and you would think i would be jumping for joy, but i am tired of living a life i so call the "gospel" life, but yet i talk negativly about them to others, and honestly i told him that i don't care to see him ever again....RUDE right..but it did feel a little good to get off my chest. But why can't i live the gospel principles more fully...and this isn't a shout out for sympathy, its just a honest question. We are taught everyday to love those that despise us, pray for those that do evil unto us...and not be judgemental. Our renters are not my only problem too. Sometimes i feel like my intentions are good, but they come across the wrong way. Or i am judgemental.....which is sad, and i need to work on that. I guess the thing that is great about the gospel is that we have repentance 24/7. I know i need to let the atonement work more fully in my life, but some days it is hard to want to be reared up and ready to go do great things EVERYDAY....does anyone else feel that way? Well enough about that. But the quote above sums it up best for me today, that i need to get back on course and try harder to finish what i have started. We had a girl named Courtney come and talk to our Relief Society last night....She has a famous blog called c jane and she is sisters with Stephanie Nielson who was in the plane crash. She told us that several people have been very mean and cruel and told her to not blog anymore, but she does it because of her talent to write. She is not getting off her course because someone made fun of her, or doesn't like her. She just trys hard to be herself. That is what i need to work on. Loving myself for me, not for my faults like i mentioned above....I know over time things will change and i will probably even feel better tomorrow because it is a different day, who knows. but thanks for reading this lame post, and i hope it helps if you have ever felt the same
8 comments:
I think it all comes down to that we are human, and no matter our best intentions, we are gonna screw up! I feel like you do all the time, and sometimes I don't have the best intentions at heart, sometimes I know I am not trying to be the best person I can be. but like you said, thats a great thing that we do have repentance every day. sometimes life gets in the way of our best intentions! good to hear from you again! :)
Meg
Val, I miss you. I want to go to lunch! Seriously so bad!
And if nothing else you have GOT to know that you are not alone. We all feel like we suck occasionally, and we all do things that are below us. It comforts me to know that God made me exactly the way I am on purpose, and that His love can lift me beyond my capacity to try to do better.
Gosh, I love you! Let's be together soon!
Oh Valerie, I can't tell you how many times I've felt that way. The fact that you worry about things you have said makes you a good person. We all say things that we regret, "Mean" people say "Mean" things without regret or remorse! You're an amazing, kind, giving, and talented person. Your way with people is amazing. If 99.9% of the people out there like you, who cares about the .01% who don't, because it's usually their problem not yours....at least that's what I say to myself. I love that I can pray for patience and forgiveness what a great blessing! Don't mind the novel, I'm a little long winded!
I know exactly what you mean and I have felt the same way!!! But the good news is we are not expected to be perfect not even close. We just do our best and when we fall and scrape our knees we let the "physician" help heal our wounds and we get back up and keep on truckin. I think one of the hardest about life is that we hold ourselves to crazy expectations and think that we have to be perfect or we are just a terrible person. I heard a song lately that was perfect for me it is called "What heaven sees in you" If we could all see ourselves as who we really are and what are amazing potential is we would really love ourselves for who we are , and who we are would be enough for us. My favorite line from it is "remember that part of the father lives in you" I love that!! Val don't be to hard on yourself, you are such a phenomenal person who has blessed so many lives, and helped so many people feel loved. You are special and amazing!! Dwell on that!!! Love you!! Thanks for sharing. We have all been there. (Sorry I am off my soap box now)
Not lame at all--I love the truth and honesty. I ditto everything you said.
Yeah, I think we all struggle with our weaknesses and it gets us down, cause we all have them! I feel that way. I think being a Mom really makes me feel like a loser!! My weaknesses tend to be more noticeable than ever! ARGH! I hope you feel better Val. You are amazing so don't get too down on yourself!
And about Green Smoothie girl, that's cool you see her at the gym all the time. I totally love what she teaches!!! Tell her hi for me, even though she doesn't know me! HA!
There are those types of personalities that are harder to get along with...it truly is hard to be friendly or nice. :) Be kind as you can to them and then you can always "vent" to Jason when they're still nasty to you. (Works for me!) Love ya.
I love how honest and level headed you are Val. I know we all think the same thing in our own personal lives and you know what???? We are not perfect and we can't pretend we are either. All we can do is go forward and learn as we go. We are molded into the people we are because of the mistakes, trials, choices we make everyday. Good or bad.
I haven't been on your blog in forever. Happy to hear you sold your house and hope you guys are doing well. Love ya cutie!!
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