Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Random I know

ok so some of you know i tend to get a little personal sometimes while writing on this blog, and some people have even commented on how they would never go into that much personal info for others to read, but i guess i am an open book. Today i am writing this because i feel a little down. Not in a bad way, I really mean things are going well, but i just can't seem to get out of a little slump i am in. This time of year is just hard on me and i am not sure why....I guess i am a sun girl, and it has been SO cold. Our renters are moving out of our house today, and you would think i would be jumping for joy, but i am tired of living a life i so call the "gospel" life, but yet i talk negativly about them to others, and honestly i told him that i don't care to see him ever again....RUDE right..but it did feel a little good to get off my chest. But why can't i live the gospel principles more fully...and this isn't a shout out for sympathy, its just a honest question. We are taught everyday to love those that despise us, pray for those that do evil unto us...and not be judgemental. Our renters are not my only problem too. Sometimes i feel like my intentions are good, but they come across the wrong way. Or i am judgemental.....which is sad, and i need to work on that. I guess the thing that is great about the gospel is that we have repentance 24/7. I know i need to let the atonement work more fully in my life, but some days it is hard to want to be reared up and ready to go do great things EVERYDAY....does anyone else feel that way? Well enough about that. But the quote above sums it up best for me today, that i need to get back on course and try harder to finish what i have started. We had a girl named Courtney come and talk to our Relief Society last night....She has a famous blog called c jane and she is sisters with Stephanie Nielson who was in the plane crash. She told us that several people have been very mean and cruel and told her to not blog anymore, but she does it because of her talent to write. She is not getting off her course because someone made fun of her, or doesn't like her. She just trys hard to be herself. That is what i need to work on. Loving myself for me, not for my faults like i mentioned above....I know over time things will change and i will probably even feel better tomorrow because it is a different day, who knows. but thanks for reading this lame post, and i hope it helps if you have ever felt the same